Telling the kid to stand up to the bully…

When a friend asked me what he should do pertaining to his situation… my tendency is to give advice.

I think we (the whole lot of people reading this blog anyway, I think) have been brought up to give help by giving advice. This may be the most irresponsible thing to really do.

I talked to a few primary school children from where I used to work, they told me that they would not listen to adults advice… or at least one of them said that. These guys are primary five young boys, and street smart they are.

It comes down to the story of this father telling his son not to be afraid of the bully and just standing up to him would be enough for the bully to turn all cowardly. What happened was, this boy got a sound beating of his life… and was afraid to go for recess since then. Was the boy obedient? Yes. Did he take his father’s advice? Yes. Did he do the ‘right thing’? Yes. Did he get beaten up and then became traumatise about the situation? Yes.

I believe that as adults (or I hope we are cognitively and emotionally mature), we would and should be careful about giving advice. Maybe I don’t know enough about the situation. Maybe I have never been in that situation before. Maybe I am not capable of empathizing the situation… maybe I am not getting some details right.

And maybe I shouldn’t be giving this advice.

disease

We see doctors when we get sick. We see specialist when the problem gets worse, or when the problem is worse. We get some form of medicine, and some advice on what should be done or what should not be done.  Here’s what I think of the context of the statements made so far, and these are my thoughts and speculations.

The word ‘disease’ is an interesting word to think about. When I think of ‘disease’, the first thing I think of is a virus invading into my body, and taking some controls in body. My body hates the alien and retaliates. The disease taking over the body can yield symptoms. The body trying to fight back can also yield symptoms, which doctors observe, listen, and then prescribe to treat. Sounds about right?

Now, what if this context of thinking of ‘disease’ is really a limited version of seeing the situation? What if doctors merely suppress the symptoms? What if the attack of the virus is a regular threat until there is a change in environment rather than drugs? What if we only think it is physical? Perhaps the body, mind and, heart are so integrated that they both contribute to existing conditions? What if a natural physical aliment is really the an expression of the mental aliment? Is there a correlation?

I’ve been thinking about this for sometime. The body, mind, and heart, are interdependent, just like people in general, but we fail to integrate our living together. And therefore, what might be influenza to someone, might merely be fatigue to another… is this even possible?

Research have been very mindful of categorizing and dissecting life into neat little boxes. However, life is not about living in boxes, but rather knowing that boxes exist and then living out of the box, that’s probably why there is much celebration on the human spirit.

Okay, this post has said enough, there is too much rambling already. Something worth thinking about, I think.

this is about that

I finished reading a book.

An author, his name is Rob Bell.

It’s called Sex God.

Talk about someone who wants to expand our boundaries in thinking.

He does that. Loads to think about. His statement about the meaning of things, and why they are the way they are. ‘This’ is about ‘that’.

Underlying themes. I like that. I think I have grown in listening to others. Maybe it is the other book which I am also reading, The Lost Art of Listening.

Good stuff.

Good conversations

I’ve had a bunch of good conversations from various friends and acquaintances.

While I am normally a challenging sort of person in conversations, I also love the subtle challenge. These meaningful conversations have challenged me in my thinking, and behaviour, and it has set about a precedence for more change in my life. It attacks my rigidity about certain core beliefs of myself that I have.

This will take me one level towards fully experiencing the moments, this will allow me to enter people’s world, and their ideas and be there with them. This will allow me the multitudes of experiences in every one’s lives. This will create more depth in my understanding of the human condition.

I’m glad I have friends and acquaintances who can offer a variety of conversations from the shallow to the deep.

invisible influences

Experiential learning. Something I am really into right now.

What I learn about myself, I tend to intellectualize and rationalize, and not experience the moment. Sometimes I think I am afraid to experience the moment, because of its impact it has on me, and how it will change me. But, here I am learning to trust the process.

I was introduced to two philosophical ideas called functional contextualism and relational frame theory. They are the basis for a certain new psychotherapy called ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). You can easily google that if you want to know more.

I read the ACT ideas, and see it does stem from Buddhistic philosophy. This is when I realize the impact of Western culture and philosophy on the Judeo-Christian tradition that I have been exposed to. The impact of Western thought on a Middle-eastern religion is very interesting… and it was almost invisible. When I started reading some stories in the New Testament again, I was able to observe how some of my Western values affected how I understand what I was reading. It was almost invisible. It was almost past through undetected. This is scary.

I have been able to check my beliefs by the questions I ask others, and now, this is a new breaking ground. Being where I am, where I am able to understand Eastern thought and Western thought allows me to re-visit ideas and thought processes and even emotional schemas in my own life. Difficult, I might say though.

The good thing is: I am utterly convinced that I can definitely learn about the world and how it works through others and their experiences.

This makes me re-think on how my beliefs affect how I behave and be. Does this scare you?

sleep…

Trying to get some. But it just won’t come. Wonder why.