Learned behaviours

It is interesting to check out personality profiling tests. Recently I did a standard DISC questionaire, which was quite weird, because they wanted to set the setting of the tests as being in the work place, yet they would only give us 7 minutes to complete it. My mind does not allow such flexibility, to be in a courtyard doing this test and thinking of how I am at work.

In any case, the results came out as an improvement from my previous tests. I was a (I)nfluential, (C)onscientious, and (S)teady, while my (D)ominant has moved closer to the median line. But this is not what or who I am, it just an indication of where I am at this point.

Another interesting personality profiling test is the famed Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), you can wiki it and find more about it, but in a gist, they have:
(E)xtravert vs. (I)ntrovert – which tells us where we draw our energies from
(S)ensing vs. I(N)tuition – which tells us how we gather information.
(T)hinking vs. (F)eeling – which tells us which mode of information processing we normally use to make decisions.
(J)udgement vs. (P)erception – which tells us something how we perceive the world, do we generally need structure or can we create structure out of chaos… okay, the explanation may not be so accurate (in any case, wiki it).

So apparently, I have quite a few learned behaviours, because I know how I am, but I behave in a different manner. That is to say, that my preference (strong preference, by the way) tells me that I am a NTJ, however, I have began to learn (S)ensing and (F)eeling a lot more. Also, I realize that I am naturally not a (J)udging, I am more a (P)erception-type person. I believe it is the conditioning of society that has caused me to present more (J)udgement.

Strangely, all these personality type indicate something how we relate, learn, and behave in this world. Will blog more about these as I understand them.

Flexibility

While I am concerned about the awareness of my body as well as how flexible I am, here’s a clip worth much to be talked about. Not just about the ability of the person to manipulate his body in such a way, it awes us, but about his flexibility as well.

Of course, only after his passing, the King of Pop grabs the limelight again with his talents. This clip puts me close to tears, because of its emotional content, and the commitment he had to his craft.

Fear and its workings

I have been trying to understand myself. I never quite understood why the best laid plans always seemed to not go the way it should.

Plans have been properly discussed BUT they are not adhered to closely eventually. In this case, I speak for myself. And I am just trying to understand my own behaviour. Then I read about the impact of fear on a person:

Since it is possible, I assume it is likely for me. That is how fear works–the possible becomes probable.

And this seems to be a normal phenomena when fear is involved. The impact of fear in my own thinking makes me think that the possible becomes the probable. The impact of fear bursts a hole of my emotions container, and allow the emotions to gush into my decision making faculty. (It sounds like I am compartmentalizing the whole thing, but I guess for my own understanding, it makes sense for now.)

So what can I do? I think the only thing is to be present and learning to be aware.

Leadership management

Got this from William Glasser, MD’s book, The Quality School Teacher. One thing about Dr. Glasser is that I like the way he sees the situation, and his leadership model is really a lead-by-example type of model, very close to Seth Godin’s Tribes-type model.

He says:

… and that you will work with them to solve all problems because, if it is their school, the problems are their problems. You will have to work hard to prevent them from turning their problems over to you, as they are used to doing (Glasser, 1993, p. 3).

… If you can’t reach them, the students will never accept that this is their school (Glasser, 1993, p. 3).

Wow, I can’t hardly argue against that. The only thing that I will try to argue against is the fact that it is so difficult to do. He also prefers that the leaders (i.e. the heads) of the system/organization takes charge of the situation, which sort of means that the heads have to see the need for change, and implement them from top to down. He says this

When the failure to achieve quality is in industry  or education, nothing will be improved until the leaders change the system itself. It is never the fault of the people who work in the system (Glasser, 1993, p. 5).

These are the things that grab me in his book. I really like his ideas, I am just wondering how I will embody it and express it out at my own workplace.

I also really like it that he points out that people who work for the bosses are usually ‘working in the system’ and may not recognize the need to change… unless one of the workers is a renegade-type character, who would push for changes… via the union or by himself (which would be almost unwise).

But… it might be worth a fight if the need to change is obvious, and will be beneficial throughout the board.

References:
Glasser, W. (1993). The Quality School Teacher (Rev. Ed.) HarperPerennial:New York.

Appreciating self

Stress and mental pressure, together with physical exhaustion, can yield the real person. Recently, I was put to such a test, and I gladly received this test. I saw me for real, and I’ve had some interesting observations.

When purpose is clear in my mind, my mind never falters in its cognitive and analytical abilities. I also noticed that my mind is very clear on what needs to be done, and I am always on my toes in making decisions.

On more good points, I am not afraid to voice out my opinions and thoughts. Basically, I am very very honest about how I feel and am not afraid to express them. Also, I am a natural leader, I allow others to lead when they are confident, and step up to the role when no one takes it up. I can make decisions quickly, as long as information is not muddled up because of poor communication.

I find that I am also very supportive of team mates, and do strive to not cause dissension in the ranks of other teams, but instead, work towards a greater goal. I quite like this part of myself.

So yes, I appreciate that I do have these qualities, and quite frankly, I am rather impressed with myself.

Now, here comes the punch in appreciating self. I do realize that in my most natural state, I can still be somewhat immature. I would respond to taunts and snide remarks in the same manner that it is given.

On top of that, respect seems to be an important virtue for me. If there were external forces working against the team, it would be my natural tendency to retaliate against them like they are the enemy. If they were an enemy worth respecting, then retaliation would not be a response.

Having said all these, I think it is important for me to address these ‘issues’. You might think that there is nothing wrong, but I say there is. To deal with problems, we have to look at the problem at the higher level (sometimes, seen as the root of the problem) and address it. Sinking to the level it presents itself is usually hardly useful.

I appreciate myself for who I am.

SO that’s what it is!

I’ve been thinking about how to progress a relationship. I know that communication is the life of the relationship. Which does sum it very nicely doesn’t it, however, that makes the word, ‘communication’ a very loaded word. What does ‘communication’ mean?

Well, here’s a quote from a blog post that I read, that might help a bit.

Research has shown that openly expressed anger is not a factor in the deterioration of relationships. Instead it is contempt, belligerence, and defensiveness that bring about the deterioration. Where feelings and opinions are not openly and clearly expressed things go downhill.

Anyway, that helps clear what communication should be, doesn’t it?

Reflection on the selection camp

In honesty, it was definitely physically tiring, but not really mentally tiring. It would really be mentally tiring IF the situations were more realistic. In other words, other than the lack of sleep… it was not mentally tiring.

It was only mentally tiring because I was consistently pushing myself to see if I could see the bigger picture so that I could ‘beat’ the instructors in their own game, subtly.

Subtly is not my strongest forte, so it was worth a try to work the system inside out, without being disrespectful, just being blatantly honest. It work to some extent.

Plus, I was assessing the camp organizers, I felt something of a misfit. Their values and their actions did not seem to match. Their spoken messages and their non-verbal messages where at odds with each other. This made me very uncomfortable. I turned towards my team mates for solace. At least they were more real, and grouded, plus they were ’suffering’ with me.

I am also grateful that understanding group dynamics helped understand what was going on. It is so… bizarre, to say the least. Oh well…

Leadership

I just came back from a supposedly 3-day 2-night camp. It was a camp to see if one had leadership skills, knowledge, application of skills, and one more criteria, to which I cannot remember now.

After the camp, I was tired, but relentlessly clear headed. I do acknowledge that there has been a limitation of viewpoints (or I would more accurately say, limitation of perspective) because of the tiredness.

Still, the camp left me thinking about leadership. If their leadership model is based on the camp, then the next generation of leaders are so going downhill. I was reading Gary Chapman’s piece on leadership in a relationship, and even though it comes from a Christian perspective, there is practical wisdom in it. Check it:

As the head, does the Father ever force the Son to do anything?  No.  Does the Son ever act independently of the Father?  No.  There is perfect unity.  That is the design for Christian marriage: husbands and wives working together as a team, with the husband as the recognized leader. 

Do leaders force their followers to do anything? I think that if the leader has to force/coerce any follower to do anything, then in my regard, I do not consider a good leader. Period.

no sleep and camping

There is a time when I will be like a zombie, but a wise-cracking one, due to the lack of sleep.

Nevertheless, I shall try to maintain some form of dignity…

Purpose

Every major break from life, I get a similar question that manifests itself in different ways. In the end, the point of the question is: What am I doing in this world? Have I found what I am supposed to do, and taking the steps to accomplishing it? Or not?

Each time, I am always shown two tracks… taking the easy way out, or pursuing integrity and greatness with the tough pains of life.

So far, I have chosen the latter. Will I ever choose the former?

When I thought of choosing the former, it just does not make any sense. I can’t explain it. But it just is.